First, that we understand what they said. There are two things we want the other person to know. Knowing the right questions to ask can send the message that we’re trying to learn and connect with the other person and their reason for the conversation.Ĭonfirm understanding and empathy. Open-ended questions provide additional insights. Closed-ended questions allow us to obtain clarity. If we need additional information, questions are a great way to follow up. Learn to be comfortable with silence if the other person needs time to compose their words.Īsk good questions. Stay focused on the other person and their feedback. It could be tempting to start formulating a response. Ask if you can take notes so you don’t need to interrupt. Depending on the conversation, it might be a challenge to stay focused. We might have history with an individual that could influence the conversation - either positive or not-so positive. If we want to be empathetic, we need to recognize any possible biases that could influence the conversation. If you feel that it would be hard to stay focused, ask if you can schedule the conversation for another time.Ĭheck your biases. Don’t let distractions derail the conversation. Even technology companies understand the need for pushing your device to the side for a few moments to listen to someone. So, how do we become better empathetic listeners? The first step is empathetic listening to feedback. And it is psychological safety that helps the organization become more inclusive. When employees feel that they will not only be heard but that it’s safe to be themselves, it builds psychological safety within the organization. Not only do we want to understand what someone is saying, but we want to empathize with their reason for saying it. Think of it as one step up from active listening. Empathetic listening is about connecting understanding with empathy. The reason I wanted to mention these forms of listening is because there’s another form of listening that we really need to spend time working on. It often includes being able to repeat or paraphrase what the individual said to confirm understanding. Active listening is when we’re giving our full attention to someone and understanding what they have to say.We might be hearing the words that someone is saying, but we’re more focused on being ready to pounce back instead of digesting the information. Competitive listening is when we’re listening for an opportunity to respond with our point of view.We’re so focused on waiting or wanting to hear the other person say that specific thing, that we could be missing out on key information. Selective listening takes place when we’re listening for a specific thing.Pretend listening happens when we want others to think that we’re paying attention but, in reality, we’re thinking about something else (like our vacation plans).Often, distractions like other people or technology devices keep us from giving someone our full attention. One of the ways we can become better listeners is by understanding the different types of listening, so we can catch ourselves if we’re not listening the way we should. However, as important as listening is, it can be equally difficult to do. Which is why we need to get listening right. And better understanding results in more positive work relationships and improved results. When it comes to work, listening allows us to gain understanding. It is a direct response to The Workforce Institute Weigh-In question for February on how to create a culture where employees feel comfortable providing feedback. Today’s post comes to us from Workforce Institute board member and HR Bartender, Sharlyn Lauby.
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